Fifty Shades Darker, a drunk review


Rated: 1/5

What you’re in for.

Been playing nice for too long. I need a film to piss me off.

Fifty Shades Darker. Guess that means this will be darker than the last film. Kinda wish they named this Fifty Shades of Blue or something, that way it would be easier to make immature sex jokes, like Fifty Shades of Blue Me, as in blow me. If this film doesn’t have people getting blown in it, in the sexual way, I’m going to get pissed and start watching some actual honest-to-God porn. If this film pisses me off enough, I might lose my cool and actually post porn on this blog page.

And there had also be plenty of ass-slapping like in the last film.

Like every drunk review I do, I’ll be typing my responses in real-time while the movie plays, as opposed to pondering the film when it ends and then writing a review. Because honestly, why the fuck would anyone want to ponder a film like this?

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