Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete (1998) review

Rated: 3 / 5 "In the old days, we used to get through the gameplay so we could get to the cutscenes.  Nowadays, we need to get through the cutscenes so we can get to the gameplay." -- Some Youtuber or Bitchuter whose name I forgot So this is a classic J-RPG game that appeared … Continue reading Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete (1998) review

Angel Heart review

Rated: 4/5 WARNING: The analysis I do for this film makes spoilers inevitable. Watch this film one time through before reading this review. Or don't and just read this review first, I don't really give a shit. The important thing is that I gave you a spoiler warning so that you have no one to … Continue reading Angel Heart review

Metroid 1-4 (1987-2002; 2004; 2016) game series review

So I've played the original Metroid games.  Can't say I've finished all of them, just the 3rd (Super Metroid) and 4th (Metroid Fusion). "Then how the hell do you expect to review these games reliably?  What the hell!?  Are you turning into one of those half-a-fag game journalists who bitch about games being too difficult … Continue reading Metroid 1-4 (1987-2002; 2004; 2016) game series review

Rambo: Last Blood (2019) review

Rated: 3.5 / 5 There will be spoilers in this review.  So if you haven't seen the movie yet, you have been warned.  That being said, I'll be making up some bullshit so that you can't tell when I'm being serious and honest as opposed to sarcastic and busting your balls. So two Mexicans walk … Continue reading Rambo: Last Blood (2019) review

The Shining (1980) review and analysis

Rated: 4.5 / 5 "I'm sorry to differ with you sir. But *you* are the Caretaker. You have *always* been the Caretaker. I should know sir, I have *always* been here." A lot of people tend to think of this film as a horror movie, or at the very least a thriller.  About a family … Continue reading The Shining (1980) review and analysis

Phantasy Star I-IV (1988-1995) review

A couple months ago I felt this urge to go back to retro gaming.  I don't mean retro PC, I don't mean downloading an emulated game on the PC.  I mean actual old-school console gaming.  But I found myself in a predicament.  I used to own a Sega Genesis, and a decent game collection for … Continue reading Phantasy Star I-IV (1988-1995) review