Rated: 4/5 "See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at … Continue reading Team America, and a rant about the post-election.
film
Halloween (1978) Review
Rated: 3/5 Sorry, no new releases this week (wanted to watch and review The Accountant, but circumstances kept me either occupied or at home). So I'll review this old classic, while making a brief comparison to the Rob Zombie remake. I wish I had you all alone. Just the two of us. So first question. … Continue reading Halloween (1978) Review
Shin Godzilla (Resurgence) Review
Source (and no there aren't any EVAs in this movie) Rating: 3/5 I knew there was something wrong with Godzilla's frikkin face when I first saw the trailer. And now I've figured it out. Source He's a fuckface, which any hardcore Godzilla fan knows. First of all, his face is fucked up, as if … Continue reading Shin Godzilla (Resurgence) Review
Deepwater Horizon Review
Rated: 3/5 I don't have anything off the top of my head, so I'll just type and babble and ramble and see what comes of it. The movie is a disaster film that isn't as good as Dante's Peak, but not as bad as Volcano or San Andreas (yeah, I didn't care for the latter, … Continue reading Deepwater Horizon Review
The Magnificent Seven (2016) Review
Nah, I'm just screwin' with yah. Bet you didn't know a 1998 version existed did ya? Here's the actual poster for the movie I'm reviewing. Rating: 3/5 Still not a big fan of posters that just show cast members (usually their faces, sometimes full body if you're lucky), and this seems to be a decent … Continue reading The Magnificent Seven (2016) Review
Blair Witch vs. The Blair Witch Project
Rating 1/5 (for Blair Witch 2016) 4/5 (for The Blair Witch Project 1999) "I see why you like this video camera so much. It's not quite reality. It's totally like a filtered reality man. It's like you can pretend everything is not quite the way it is." I enjoyed The Blair Witch Project. It's a … Continue reading Blair Witch vs. The Blair Witch Project
Wolfcop Review
Source Rating 2/5 Source Warning, this review is not safe for work and not safe for kids. Source Source You've been warned. So I originally found out about this film from the podcast Slaughterfilm, episode 144. Mainly … Continue reading Wolfcop Review
The Path to 9/11 Review/Analysis Part 3
Continued from part 2. Fact-Checking Something else to consider. Aside from the bullshit reasons for trying to keep the film off the air, and the reasons for keeping the film off of DVD/Blu-Ray distribution (so far succeeding on that front), it would be a good idea to bring up the criticisms the film is facing. … Continue reading The Path to 9/11 Review/Analysis Part 3
The Path to 9/11 Review/Analysis: Part 2
Rating: 4/5 Note: See part 1 for more information on this film. Analysis of the Film The film is made in a Paul Greengrass style (ironic, considering that United 93 was released in the same year, as was Oliver Stone's World Trade Center; 2006 was quite a year for 5 year 9/11 anniversary films), and … Continue reading The Path to 9/11 Review/Analysis: Part 2
Don’t Breathe Review
I’m starting to think film critics are seeing the recent competence in horror films like The Witch and Lights Out, and are beginning to confuse it with simple competence. Neither one of those films were bad, mind you, I just didn’t think these movies were going to lead us to the Promised Land. -- Chris … Continue reading Don’t Breathe Review
The Anomalous Host 