Wolfcop Review


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Rating 2/5

 

 


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Warning, this review is not safe for work and not safe for kids.


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You’ve been warned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I originally found out about this film from the podcast Slaughterfilm, episode 144. Mainly in regards to the fact that this movie is a result of a kickstarter/indiegogo/whatever crowdfunding campaign. Well, it’s not that bad considering, but I didn’t think it was fantastic. But I did get a bit curious about seeing it after the podcast mentioned how one of their friends kept thinking the title of the movie was WolfCock. Why WolfCock? Well because this scene is in the movie:


So begineth the legend of the WolfCock!

Anyway, this film steps in with a so-so stylized opening credit sequence with heavy metal music playing that no one will remember the beat to after hearing it. And then we meet our protagonist, a police officer in a small town who is anything but an outstanding citizen. Drunk all the time, sleeping with the occasional nameless chick (sounds like Chris Pratt should’ve been in this), and very lazy and uncaring about his job. Well that all changes when some cultists ambush him in the woods, do something to him, and make him turn into a werewolf at night.

From there on the film tries to take a sort of buddy-cop style, only just 1 guy is a cop while the other is a, um, useless nobody who watches him as he carries out his wolfcop duties. And while in both human and wolf form after the ritual, he becomes a better officer, kind of. I mean, he’s out taking notes and trying to solve a mystery, but when all is said and done, nothing gets accomplished due to his investigation, at all. He doesn’t follow up on any leads when he’s human, he doesn’t follow up on any leads when he’s a werewolf. The only things he gets done is making a run-down yet bitchin’ looking vehicle and killing a bunch of thieves, spray painters, and drug dealers while in wolf form.

And he’s also in a sex scene with a hot chick. That’s right folks, this has the hottest werewolf on woman action since Francis Ford Coppola’s take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula.


And then there’s the female cop in the movie. Now, she seems like a decent enough individual, at first. She tries to do her job, makes an honest effort, seems to be held back by the chief, and gets sick and tired of the protagonist’s procrastination. But then come a couple moments that seem to go against her character, or reveal immaturity in her mature demeanor. During the finale, she turns from cop to vigilante practically out of the blue, capping dudes off without even making an attempt at arresting them even when she has the drop on them. Plus her demeanor in a couple scenes:


I’m going with the whole, “Let’s make her this way just to throw in a few jokes” side of things.

So when all is said and done, this movie isn’t THAT great. The action scenes are shot cheaply and cut too fast (aside from a couple momentary moments), the “buddy” element during the middle falls flat because they share no chemistry and what little lines there are are largely forgettable and meaningless. But there are still some moments here and there to keep you entertained if this seems like your kind of thing.

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