Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014) review

I spent 30 fucking dollars on this trash!  What the fuck!? Rated: 1.5 / 5 What you would like to do in an ideal setting is to take the most realistic objective standards of masculine and female beauty and apply them to the videogame.  You don't want realistic portrayals in that sense because you're actually … Continue reading Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014) review

Final Fantasy IX (2000) review

Rated: 2 / 5* This was the one PS1 Final Fantasy game I hadn't played in my youth.  Or rather, I played a bit of it, but then got sidetracked by something else.  I'm one of those people where if I'm unable to complete a game within a certain number of days (maybe even a … Continue reading Final Fantasy IX (2000) review

Torment: Tides of Numenera review

Rated: 4 / 5 I've tried to get through a few RPGs in the past, and failed.  Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy IX, Diablo, Diablo II, and Baldur's Gate.  Basically amounted to just losing the will to continue in those games.  It had to do with the monotony of combat, grinding, lack of interest in … Continue reading Torment: Tides of Numenera review

Metroid 1-4 (1987-2002; 2004; 2016) game series review

So I've played the original Metroid games.  Can't say I've finished all of them, just the 3rd (Super Metroid) and 4th (Metroid Fusion). "Then how the hell do you expect to review these games reliably?  What the hell!?  Are you turning into one of those half-a-fag game journalists who bitch about games being too difficult … Continue reading Metroid 1-4 (1987-2002; 2004; 2016) game series review

Phantasy Star I-IV (1988-1995) review

A couple months ago I felt this urge to go back to retro gaming.  I don't mean retro PC, I don't mean downloading an emulated game on the PC.  I mean actual old-school console gaming.  But I found myself in a predicament.  I used to own a Sega Genesis, and a decent game collection for … Continue reading Phantasy Star I-IV (1988-1995) review

Shadow Tactics: Blade of the Shogun (2016) review

Rated: 3.5 / 5 I question how much I actually enjoy stealth games.  Aside from Thief I and II, I don't normally go out of my way to play these sorts of games.  On the other hand, certain RPGs like Deus Ex, while not primarily a stealth game yet can be played as one, do … Continue reading Shadow Tactics: Blade of the Shogun (2016) review

System Shock (1994) and Quake (1996) review

So in celebration of cocksucking California passing bullet legislation, I figure I'd talk about the best defining first-person-shooters ever made, outside of Doom (made after Doom). Surely everyone has heard of Doom being the first major defining first person shooter game, which is still awesome to this day.  True, Wolfenstein came before it, and was … Continue reading System Shock (1994) and Quake (1996) review