Season 1 rated: 3.5 / 5
Prequel Season rated: 3 / 5
Season 2 rated: 1.5 / 5
Season 3 rated: 3 / 5
Overall: 3 / 5

I recall my thoughts when this series first came out. It didn’t hold much interest for me. I just knew we were finally living in an age where television shows on those specialty pack channels (HBO, Starz, Cinemax, etc) could basically show whatever the hell they wanted when it came to violence and sexual content. And that this series personified most, if not all, of it. Building upon the foundations laid by what came prior to it, with Rome (2005-2007) probably being the best example; other shows that pushed the envelope of violence and sex on screen. Hence to say it didn’t interest me because, first impression, it just seemed lame to be doing excessive violence and nudity primarily just for the sake of it. So I wasn’t all that interested in following it.

Not even after playing the board game adaptation of it. Which, in all fairness, is far better than it deserves to be (it’s not often a board game adaptation of a film or show ends up being great, let alone good).

What finally got me interested into seeing it was watching the Stanley Kubrick film Spartacus. Let’s just say, in spite of the film’s fame, in spite of the budget and scope (particularly with that final battle), I’m not a fan of it. The primary reason being the portrayal of the gladiators after they make their escape. Just one big happy civilized and friendly family, in spite of the life they’ve been living and all they’ve been through. What a load of shit.

So I decided to give this series a fair chance. It’s got to at least have a more realistic portrayal of how these gladiators actually acted, right? Well, not that I’ve actually done any significant research into the subject, but it certainly seems that way.

The first season doesn’t start off very well. Stuff happens. The situation of the protagonist certainly changes. But it’s just not all that interesting. It looks a bit cheap (they obviously worked within a certain budget, but it’s not completely bad, as they tried to do a stylish form, somewhat akin to 300 and Sin City with the green screen stuff). The first episode in particular suffers from the worst of it. The two sex scenes that happen are rather forced (ie sex just for the sake of showing it and having it). The pacing is rather dull. The only good part about it is the finale in the arena (which suffers from over-the-top blood splatter; in that it shouldn’t be possible for that much to come out from a blow to the back of the head, and survive it).

But it does get a tad better in the next episode. A smidge better in episode 3. By episode 4, the show finally got good. And it maintained a respectable level of entertainment throughout the rest of the season. Plot and characters: interesting. The style of violence: got used to it. The sex: well it was less forced than in the first episode if nothing else, and generally served a purpose even if the excess remained (shows everything but penetration). The pacing: solid. Plenty of great and surprising moments, making everyone human and vulnerable (and flawed) in some way. Seeing how Spartacus eventually rose to being the top gladiator, surpassing the prior champion Crixus (who remained his rival for the majority of the season). The debate of brotherhood, honor, and purpose. The political intrigue and personal vendettas. It ended up being a damn good time.

Unfortunately the lead actor playing Spartacus came down with a case of cancer, which producers were hoping he would recover from, so they made up the prequel season (which I won’t call season 2) to buy time. Sadly, the actor didn’t recover, and died. Very unfortunate, because he was pretty damn good in that role.

As for the prequel season, it’s better than you would expect under the circumstances. Life gave them lemons, and they made lemonade. This season surpasses expectations any reasonable person would have knowing why it even exists. It’s not as good as season 1, but it’s still good. Went a bit heavier on the sexual content, which I was all, “Eh… whatever.” It still worked, given that one of the themes was all about allowing this paganist corruption and depravity into a once respected house, which would inevitably lead to its downfall down the road (foreshadowing Rome’s collapse to some extent, but that may be giving the creators of the show a little too much credit).

Then season 2 comes around, and things fall apart. I’m not going to beat around the bush, this season sucks. The actor they got to replace the prior one playing Spartacus: inferior. Same thing applies to the actress who replaces Crixus’ love interest Naevia; she annoyed the fuck out of me, and so did Crixus for that matter. Her fucking face, and Crixus’ too. In fact, ever since the prequel season, Crixus got a downgrade. They didn’t replace the actor, they just made him appear more dopey. Mouth always hanging open, having little to none of the gladiator pride and ego from the first season.

And I’m just getting started with all the things I hated about season 2. Having someone who should’ve died in season 1 come back via bullshit reasons. The gladiators becoming overpowered and making Roman soldiers look like pansies (the 4 vs 1 sequence in the penultimate episode of season 1 showed that they were still a force to be reckoned with, even if the average gladiator was better than them). Making that little weasel Ashur, of all people, overpowered. The ridiculous excess of sexual content got worse than ever and put me off (mainly to make the Romans look more depraved). Shrugging off a sledgehammer to the head, full-force. No one being like-able. And too much faggot shit (at least the first season had the decency to kill off the two faggot characters prior to the halfway point).

Honestly, the only good thing about season 2 is the episode where the arena gets burned down, and that’s it. Everything else about it is terrible. I thought the series was doomed at this point.

Then season 3 comes around. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with this one… initially. Started off strong, with Romans who are sympathetic and offer a grey area of moral quandary between them and the gladiators (not all the Romans, just some of the major players). Though I did find it ridiculous how involved Julius Caesar got with everything (historically speaking, this probably didn’t happen). On top of that, the actor who took the role of Spartacus from season 2, he now fit the character like a glove. His more grim look and view of things fit the actor far better. In fact, even the actress playing Naevia fit the role better. I still didn’t like her or her character (personal taste for the most part), but at least this season made her a bit of a bitch and acknowledges that she is one… at least during the first half. And thank God, the Roman soldiers got a bit of a boost compared to season 2. The gladiators could still wipe the floor with them for the most part, but at least they made it seem like they had to put effort into doing so.

This season had the potential to be at least as good as season 1, possibly even better. But unfortunately it’s not. It starts to go downhill during the later episodes. Not enough to ruin the show. And it’s one of those things where you don’t realize it’s going downhill until it’s all over and you see how everything got wrapped up. Some things you think they’re setting up for, either don’t have a good payoff, or weren’t a setup at all.

Here’s an example. The gladiators take over this one city deemed impenetrable. Then they start ransacking it and massacring people on the inside, making you realize their bloodlust, thirst for vengeance, and general irrationality a good portion of them carry makes them into monsters that are just as bad, if not worse, than the Romans themselves. And the show is careful to make the main Roman figures multidimensional as well, with good sides and bad sides, making it difficult at times to know who you should root for, or even if you should be rooting for the same people you were an episode or two ago. Solid stuff. It even sets up Naevia being too broken from the trauma she suffered between seasons 1 and 2 to not become a monster just as bad as those who tormented her.

This sounds great and all… until you realize this entire moral quandary is dropped the moment the gladiators flee the city. After that, the show creators didn’t care that they just showed the viewer the bad side to their gladiator heroes. It’s all virtually forgotten after that. No more moral dilemma’s, no more broken souls lashing back at the world incapable of being normal. Hell, even this one lady who held a hatred for Spartacus for killing her husband and a good portion of her people decided she’s willing to forego all that in order to have great sex with him. This is one of the worst aspects of this season that holds it back from being great.

And also, the faggots are back in force. Making sure to step in and ruin a climax that the audience was getting all pumped up for. This happens in more ways than one. Early on, there’s a sequence where the gladiator Gannicus is having sex with multiple women, it’s going on for a long while, and just as he’s about to climax, the scene immediately changes to the two faggots climaxing, one on top of the other, in a manner that doesn’t seem physically possible unless one of them grew a cunt and became a futa or something (that would add a new twist to the depraved pagan shit right there). Little did I know this was foreshadowing for the end of the season. I’m dead fucking serious.

Come the final episode of the final season, in the final battle, where the gladiators face off against Crassus’ army. Solid battle for the most part, with everything leading up to Spartacus facing off against Crassus himself. Just as Spartacus is starting to gain the upper hand in the duel, a few Roman show up from the battlefield on horseback (the Romans had practically won the battle at this point, spoilers for those who don’t know history), and spear him multiple times. And just as it seems like Spartacus is about to die, the two buttfucking faggots show up out of nowhere, beat the Romans off, and take Spartacus and flee. This was the point where the season became irredeemably worse than the first. But it gets worse. So after we learn that Pompeii’s army ambushed and massacred all the people fleeing over the mountain to escape from the Romans, all that is left of Spartacus’ crew are a few hundred people who didn’t go over the mountainside, mostly women and children, and faggots. You would think they were setting up Gannicus to finally have a purpose in life after this arc they had him going through with Sibyl, setting him up to lead the slaves to safety and help make the next generation. But nope, he dies (and it’s kind of dumb what with the vision he has at the end), and we get women and faggots being the remnants and the last thing we see on the show. And they pull this off through the power of bullshit, because they never should’ve been able to get out of that battle, especially at that point when all was lost. The only thing more dumb than that is in episode 8 with Crixus’ army not noticing the thousands upon thousands of Romans who, somehow, someway, snuck up behind them without them noticing.

Faggots aside, this series really pulled its punches when it came to the fate of Spartacus. At least the Kubrick film had the balls to make Spartacus crucified along with everyone else. But no… the creators fell too much in love with their protagonist that they didn’t want to make it too tragic. Even if they could’ve used this tragedy to set up motivations for others in Rome that would lead to repercussions later on regarding its fate (similar the the allegory I mentioned in season 2). Having people talking about slavery, about the role of rulers and senators, layering things to show that the gladiator rebellion wasn’t meaningless. But it couldn’t really give us that.

The season was doing so well too, but it had to let me down with all that shit. Which is painful, because there was plenty of great stuff in that season to rival that of the first.

If you’re to watch this series at all, just watch the first season and forget the rest. But if you absolutely had to see things through to the end, do yourself a favor and at least skip season 2. There is very little to enjoy about that season.