The Breeders guitarist Kelley Deal is arrested at her Ohio home after accepting a private-courier package containing four grams of heroin. Chicago Bulls retire basketball superstar Michael Jordan’s jersey #23 in a 2-hour ceremony at the United Center. First PlayStation console released by Sony Interactive Entertainment in Japan. San Francisco: First conference that focuses exclusively on the subject of the commercial potential of the World Wide Web. George Foreman (45) KOs Michael Moorer to win boxing Heavyweight championship. Voters in California elect entertainer Sonny Bono to US Congress. Bill Gates buys Leonardo da Vinci’s “Codex” for $30,800,000 – then the most expensive manuscript ever sold. Sweden agrees to join European Union. 1st public trains run through the Channel Tunnel linking England and France under the English Channel. Convicted serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer is clubbed to death by fellow inmate Christopher Scarver in the Columbia Correctional Institution gymnasium in Portage, Wisconsin. Norway votes against joining European Union.
Music
Other mentions:
- The Black Crowes: Amorica
- PJ & Duncan: Psyche
- The Fatima Mansions: Lost in the Former West
- Bathory: Requiem. Their previous album was better.
- Frank Sinatra: Duets II
- John Frusciante: Niandra LaDes and Usually Just a T-Shirt
Tom Petty: Wildflowers (1)
You Don’t Know How it Feels. You Wreck Me. Honey Bee. What the hell, I’ll give this album of the month.
Megadeth: Youthanasia (1)
Eagles: Hell Freezes Over (8)
Normally I avoid live albums, but I’m making an exception for this. The band got back together.
Cinderella: Still Climbing (8)
Not bad. Talk is Cheap won me over. I think I prefer their previous album from 1990, but this is still a good one to go out on (seriously, this is their last album).
Pearl Jam: Vitalogy (22)
Movies
Other mentions:
- A Low Down Dirty Shame
- Oleanna. The dialogue is repetitious and makes me cringe.
- Junior. So begins the dark times in Arnold’s film career. He wouldn’t ever really recover from the trend of mediocre (or guilty pleasure) at best, terrible at worst, films he would generally put out ever since this one. But in all fairness, he did have one last classic to put out, which would only be a classic precisely because it couldn’t be anything other than a guilty pleasure, in 1996. In any case, his acting capabilities are not up to snuff in a film like this, a film that would’ve been bad even if they cast someone better.
- Fatherland. For an alternate history post-WWII, it’s about what you would expect. A little dumb without the obvious non-controversial historical considerations in mind (ex: Hitler living to age 75, not considering his Parkinson’s condition, among other health factors).
Double Dragon (4)
Pure 90s cheese, and I love it. Robert Patrick chews the scenery in his role. And this ended up being USA’s introduction to Mark Dacascos (as opposed to Crying Freeman, which is a crying shame).
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (4)
I don’t consider this to be a good movie, objectively-speaking. But it does have enough entertainment value to be worth a watch. If for no other reason than this will give you some of the best unintentionally hilarious moments ever to be seen in a big budget theatrically released film. Seriously, that entire sequence when Frankenstein’s wife loses her mind and becomes suicidal at the finale, you gotta see it to believe it. There’s a good chance you’ll fall on the floor laughing your ass off.
They tried to replicate the quality of Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula adaptation, and failed. But it’s a fun and amusing failure. And at least they tried to make something glorious. Which makes the unintentional hilarity that much better.
Pontiac Moon (4)
Not bad for what it is. Decent family flick. And for the first time in a while, Ted Danson is in a role that he seems to belong in.
The War (4)
One of those periodic slice of life flicks (1950s). Which also leans a bit heavily into black apologetics (stereotype black characters who are always good, even in spite of whatever attitude they have, who are oppressed by other white people just because they’re blacks who dindu nuffin, including by guys who look like skinheads). But if you can get past that… which I can’t, because that also factors in to how the father figure sacrifices himself to save another. The black apologetic stuff really brings this movie down. Which is a pity, because for once, I got to see Elijah Wood in a role where he wasn’t insufferable.
In spite of all that, I’ll give it a highlight. It has some decent stuff in it.
Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (11)
Not bad actually. Plus I loved how the movie acknowledges how much of a crybaby the protagonist was at the end. That acknowledgement and moment of self-awareness gets kudos from me. One of the better vampire flicks out there.
The Santa Clause (11)
The Tim Allen Christmas classic, even if I wanted to see his son get the shit kicked out of him in every other scene he was in (that kid irritated me, even back in the day when I was his age).
Heavenly Creatures (16, limited)
Probably the first objectively solid flick Peter Jackson has done, while still retaining some elements of his horror roots. Personally, it’s not my type of film, but I can acknowledge a decent flick when I see one.
Miracle on 34th Street (18)
This almost stood toe-to-toe with the original. But the way the court case got resolved was astoundingly stupid. That aside, fairly good remake.
The Professional, aka Léon (18)
You gotta watch the international cut of the movie. It’s the best way to see it. A Luc Besson classic, and one I still believe is one of his best films to this day. Film of the month, and thank God something like this came out this month so that I didn’t have to choose between Interview with the Vampire and The Santa Clause.
Star Trek Generations (18)
It’s bland and insulting to Kirk, but this seems like an obligatory mention.
The Swan Princess (18)
Decent kid flick I watched a respectable amount of back in the day.
Love and a .45 (23)
A decent bandits on the run flick that’s Tarantino-esque inspired, like True Romance and Natural Born Killers.
Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (23)
It’s ok.
The Pagemaster (23)
Despite what some say about this flick, I find it enjoyable, and with a good message of encouraging kids to read books and get good inspiring stories out of them. And it’s allegedly Macaulay Culkin’s last good movie (though I still need to see Richie Rich… next month).
Games
Other mentions:
- Ecco: Tides of Time (Sega-CD, Genesis [August]). Already mentioned the Genesis release of this game in a prior month, it’s just worth noting the superior Sega-CD release.
- Samurai Shodown (Genesis, SNES). Already mentioned the arcade release in a prior month.
- Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure (SNES, Genesis [December]). Not considered to be good, generally. Lesser of the evils is on the Genesis.
- Beavis and Butt-Head (Genesis, SNES)
- Radical Rex (Genesis, Sega-CD, SNES [October])
- The Pagemaster (Genesis, SNES). In spite of the negative reputation for this game, I enjoyed my time with it back in the day. Even if I never beat it (pretty fucking hard). Was tempted to give it a highlight, but I think nostalgia plays too big of a factor with this one.
- Viewpoint (Genesis). Arcade version is better, but I think that was a Japanese exclusive. We’d have to wait for the Playstation version for this game to get justice on the home console. I mean, on the Genesis, it’s not bad, but it lags.
- RDF Global Conflict (Sega-CD)
- Corpse Killer (Sega-CD, Sega Saturn [1995], 3DO [1995], 32X [1995]). This game is such shit, but it’s a cult classic because of the characters in the FMV segments.
- Virtua Racing Deluxe (1994; 32X). While this is a solid port, the arcade version is still the definitive way to play it.
- Aero the Acro-Bat 2 (SNES, Genesis). Better than the first, for what that’s worth.
- Al Unser Jr.’s Road to the Top (SNES)
- Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit! (SNES)
- Newman-Haas IndyCar featuring Nigel Mansell (SNES, Genesis)
- Super Bonk (SNES). Moving on from the TurbograFX (which was done at this point).
- WCW SuperBrawl Wrestling (SNES)
- Roberta Williams’ King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (PC). Insufferable characters, and the beginning of the end of the King’s Quest franchise (in terms of quality).
Sega released the 32X add-on for their Genesis system. I actually used to have one of these. It wasn’t that great. Yeah, the graphics were an improvement, but the controls sucked (at least from the games I played; I may have just been unlucky with the game I got or the controller I had). Anyway, this was only supported for a year, with only about 40 games. It was doomed to fail, in spite of the hype.
Bomberman GB (November; Game Boy)
Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble (November; Game Gear)
Supposedly the best Sonic game on the Game Gear. It’s also worth noting this got a fan-made remake titled Sonic Triple Trouble: 16-Bit.
Generations Lost (1994; Genesis)
This could very well be the most underrated Sega Genesis game ever made, the most hidden of gems. Probably because this was released with no hype or advertisement, and the cover is gay as fuck. But don’t let that put you off, this is a damn good puzzle/action/platformer/shooter, sci-fi themed, and you do actually have to use some thinking. Think of it as Flashback, or Out of This World, but your character is more capable of defeating opponents. Something also similar to Blackthorne.
The Lion King (November; Genesis, SNES [December])
The SNES version sucked. That aside, this game was generally good. Its biggest downside is the final level with the final boss (Scar). One of the most dull and monotonous boss fights I’ve ever experienced in any game ever. Plus you need to know how to pull off that maneuver where you can throw him off of Pride Rock (easy with a 6-button controller). Other than that, fun game.
NBA Live 95 (November; Genesis, SNES)
Mentioned just because it’s the debut of this sports gaming franchise.
Red Zone (November; Genesis)
What the makers of Sub-Terrania went on to do (which you can tell from the title’s graphics to the music to the sound effects). The graphics for this game are fantastic for something on the Genesis (they gave the SNES a run for its money). The gameplay is a mix of Desert/Jungle/Urban Strike, and Shadowrun. Very difficult with a serious learning curve, but it’s worth it.
Urban Strike (November; Genesis, SNES)
To round out that 16-bit combat chopper trilogy.
Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel (November; Genesis, SNES)
Unlike most other mascot games (everyone trying to be on-par with Sonic and Mario), this one is actually decent, with nice smooth controls which makes the flying aspects of it great.
Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure (18; Genesis, SNES [1995])
Only in the 90s could something like this come into existence.
Keio Flying Squadron (10; Sega-CD)
Actually a couple good Sega CD games that came out this month, including this one. Side-scrolling shmup, where you play an anime chick on a flying broom shooting everything to the right. And that stuff you shoot at…
Snatcher (30; Sega-CD)
Pretty much the definitive platform to experience this game on. One of the definitive Sega-CD classics. I wanted to give this game of the month title, but there was a title on the SNES that beat this one out.
Star Wars Arcade (21; 32X)
I actually played the arcade version of this once. It’s not bad, but it gets monotonous fast. Not worth a purchase, but it is worth a quick play.
WWF Raw (November; SNES, 32X, Genesis [1995])
Pretty much the definitive 16-bit wrestling game.
Aero Fighters (November; SNES)
Bassin’s Black Bass with Hank Parker (November; SNES)
Allegedly the best fishing game of the 16-bit era. Not my cup of tea, but for everyone else…
Demon’s Crest (November; SNES)
Basically the 3rd entry in the Gargoyle’s Quest franchise.
Ghoul Patrol (November; SNES)
Spiritual sequel to Zombies Ate My Neighbors (arguably not as good).
Pocky & Rocky 2 (November; SNES)
Sonic Blast Man II (November; SNES)
Better than the first.
Stone Protectors (November; SNES)
I mean, come on, you get a free tattoo if you get this new and sealed!
Tin Star (November; SNES)
X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (November; SNES)
Dragon View (17; SNES)
Sequel to Drakkhen, that SNES RPG that is generally reviled. If nothing else, this sequel is anything but generally reviled, at least by those who actually managed to play it.
Donkey Kong Country (21; SNES)
Game of the month, contender for game of the year (sorry Snatcher, and Warcraft). You all should know this game, and the franchise it spawned. Masterpiece.
Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City (21; SNES)
This is another game that only could’ve come out in the 90s. I thought that Home Improvement game was pushing it with the weird mish-mash, but this is something else. It’s so bizarre that I just had to highlight it.
Off-World Interceptor (22; 3DO, Sega Saturn [1995], Playstation [1995])
Look, I don’t care how shit the game is supposed to be. Any FMV game made back then that takes a Mystery Science Theater 3000 approach to the cutscenes will get mad respect from me. Seriously, you gotta see the FMV sequences. It’s like some developers in the game industry eventually realized how shit most FMV games are, and decided to just do a self-parody. And it works, I was laughing my ass off at some of this stuff. Some seriously harsh comedy in this one. “What, does he think he’s the Crow?” “I wish he was the Crow then he’d be dead already!”
Death Gate (November; PC)
Warcraft: Orcs & Humans (15; PC)
Blizzard finally making their mark on the PC with their classic RTS franchise. Granted, this hasn’t aged as well as their later games, but for the time period, this was a good start. Was tempted to give this game of the month, but Donkey Kong Country aged better by comparison. But when the sequel comes out…
Transport Tycoon (15; PC)
Boppin’ (15; PC, Amiga [1992])
Shows
Other mentions:
- Scarlett. Miniseries sequel to Gone with the Wind.
- How the West Was Fun. Made for tv movie with the Olsen twins.
Earth 2 (6; NBC)
Cult classic sci-fi show that was, say it with me folks, cancelled before it was fully wrapped up. But that’s probably for the best, given the direction it was headed.
Essence of Emeril (16; FoodTV)
The famous celebrity chef of the 90s. Bam!
Spider-Man (19; Fox Kids)
Another major Marvel cartoon series. Not as good as the Batman or X-Men series, but it’s fun. Show of the month.
Million Dollar Babies (20; miniseries; CBS)
Based on a true story about the tragedy of the quintuplets born at the start of the Great Depression… in Canada. Themes of how money and celebrity status can corrupt. Pretty good miniseries actually.
The Anomalous Host 